Grief is an incredibly complex emotion, often leaving us searching for the right words to express our profound sense of loss. When our own words fail us, music frequently steps in to provide solace. One song that beautifully captures the bittersweet nature of mourning is ‘Grieving’ by the Canadian indie-folk artist Leith Ross. Through deeply poignant lyrics, the track offers a unique perspective on loss, helping us find comfort in the enduring power of love.
The central theme of the song rests on a striking and comforting line: "Grief is all I know of love / For grief is love run backwards." This perspective gently reframes our pain. Instead of viewing grief purely as a source of suffering, Ross invites us to see it as the natural continuation of the love we hold for someone.
When we lose someone we cherish, that love does not simply vanish; it turns inwards and backwards, rewinding through our treasured memories. Acknowledging that our deep sadness is merely love with nowhere to go can be incredibly comforting for anyone navigating a recent bereavement.
Ross also touches upon a common feeling shared by many who grieve: "Like how my mother says that funerals / Have the timing down all wrong / You say so much to a person, only after they are gone." It is entirely natural to feel a sense of regret about things left unsaid during a loved one's lifetime. However, the song offers a gentle resolution to this emotional conflict:
"But grief is love run backwards
So we love them better then
And we love them with forgiveness
All because we know the end."
Death often strips away life’s minor complications and misunderstandings, leaving behind the pure essence of our relationships. In grief, we learn to love those we have lost with a newfound clarity and unconditional forgiveness, accepting them fully because we now understand the entirety of their journey.
The song concludes with the powerful realization that grieving is not a process with a definitive end date, but rather a lifelong companion to living: "I think I’ll love after I’m dead / And I’ll grieve while I’m alive." This reminds us that it is entirely normal to carry our grief with us as we move forward through life.
Expressing these enduring feelings is a vital part of the healing process. Whether it is through listening to music, gathering with family to share stories, or choosing to place a notice to publicly honour a loved one's memory, finding an outlet for our "backwards love" is essential. Leith Ross reminds us that whilst grief is heavy, it is ultimately a beautiful testament to how deeply we are capable of loving.
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