The obituary notice of Matthew (Matty) MCALISTER

I’m listening to Led Zep… seeing you ‘air guitar’ through the solos. Your day for the record player (smile).

Did you brainwash my audio sensibilities – or is this sound just too good to ignore?

I have your CDs – those you had held on to.
Streaming tunes from them now.
Today.

On this soulful sorrow-ridden day.
The day we first learned you had suffered even more.

My heart had turned to cinders, charcoaled remains. A powder so black, so dense, no wind will ever blow it away… Turned to stone to find you had gone on ahead. Taken the path first – as was your want. Looking out for us. And now you carry our sibling flame forward. Keep the road lit, big brother.

Suddenly a tune, to follow the mini pause, a tune that overwhelms my heart, my mind, with memories and nostalgia for a time when we were brothers in arms, unified against the imaginary armies, unified in “Headers” – the only way we could play football in the back garden. Unified in our racing from the back seats of Dad’s many may cars. United in fighting, namely each other. You wanted to be prepared for a rougher outside world than me, brother.

Brothers, always unified. United. Twinned in some ways, polar opposites in oh so many others. But what a bond you and I have. It could not have been any other way, with loving parents and a loving home, unconditional in love and bonded by eternity of golden light.

My big brother, who made no secret that he relished that role. My story, Tracey’s story, both have garnered many moments of your protection, as yours entwined with ours.

A brotherly shield. Ready to take the bullet for me. Always.

Lost, knowing you are far away. For now. X

Just want to have a beer and watch some YouTube madness you've found. Time with you, it's all we wanted. Miss you Math xxx My heart will never mend from losing you big brother 💔

I miss you Math, I can't accept that you have left us.
It hurts so so much x

My poem for you, brother:

All Roads Find Home

Your life will not go quietly.
I will not let it.

Your journey took you away from us,
From yourself - the path back far less travelled.
Instead, ill-health met you on your course.
Bringing new confines,
Open doors you could not pass.
A cage of pain you quietly carried,
Hiding it well – sometimes.

But you were wrong, never afar.
Home: you plus us – means wherever you are.
Even island-bound you were surrounded,
Utterly, by an ocean of family love.

Yet now we are undone,
Having to let you leave the place where you belong.

But we'll see you again,
Laugh and cry with you again.
We’ll hear you roar, the brave heart, fierce.

Roar now and be heard,
As you ride the great road ahead.

That shining warmth on your back, though,
Is not sunlit rays on the sunniest of days.
No, tis the warm tears of those who knew you,
Tis the burning heartbreak of those you leave behind.
Tis the home fire, alight, with love that will never fail you.